Week Six: Theme, Place

Week Six: Theme, Place:

I am remodeling a kitchen and bathroom. Money is tight so I opt for a trip to the BIG BOX and the potential savings. My son and I park the car and head under the monolithic orange sign that spells H-O-M-E-D-E-P-O-T. I’ve never been in there before. The door closes behind us and I am immediately bombarded, I’m on overload already. People scurry about directed by the lure of a bargain just as ants are directed by the lure of a pheromone. Neither activity makes sense to me. To my left are stacks and stacks of flowerpots, reaching ten, fifteen feet high, then mops and mops and mops. To my right are enough light bulbs to brighten every home in Haiti, that is if they had electricity. I look at Ben, “This might be too much for me, I hate to shop.”

I check the list; item #1, lights for the bath and kitchen. We walk past the bulbs and enter the aisle of lights. In the center, ceiling lights crowd against each other in a cacophony of crystal, tiffany, brass and steel, although none of it real. All hang fifteen feet over my head; the only thing at eye level is the price tag in bold black print. $3.98, $13.98, $63.98. Neither Ben nor I can figure out which light the price goes to. Ben starts looking at the boxes and figures the system; you have to match the item numbers. I go for a simple light, but it seem to be chintzy, although it is hard to tell from 15 feet away. I give up on lights, and consult my list.

Item #2, toilet. We start down the central aisle of the store. The signs designating merchandise are up over our heads. I feel like we are asking the Gods of Commerce for directions to the toilet row. The thrones so to speak, rise above us; displayed above our heads. Again, I can’t make a decision. We move on to the kitchen sinks. Guess what, they are over my head, I need to take measurements and I can’t reach. Then it dawns on me: the object is “Don’t let the customer inspect the merchandise. Keep it out of reach and dangle that low price before their eyes and they will buy, buy, buy.”

I need to retreat, but as we wander down the bath tub aisle, I look at Ben, “Let’s climb in and scare somebody.” Ben looks at me, and I can see he is thinking “My mother is crazy” as he watches me step into a shower stall. I hear him laugh and I jump out. Luckily for him, there was no-one to witness his mother’s embarrassing foolishness.
We continue wandering around amidst the towering stacks of stuff. We end up near the contractor’s check out. Somewhere above the sounds of people consuming, I hear a sparrow. I look up and point to Ben, “Look, there’s a bird nest.” We watch the scene in the metal rafters above the stacks, above the signs, and I sense the wonders of nature again. Even here where man flagrantly rules, nature has slipped in. As we watch, the bird flies out and drops a little white splatter of shit on the floor. We leave empty-handed, but with our sanity returned.